| This is a transcribed copy of Lost in Time.
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Transcript
Act One
Mira: I don't understand why you couldn't just stop and ask for directions!
Buzz: You know me, Mira. I like to find my own way.
Mira rolls her eyes, it then pans out revealing Zurg's dreadnought.
Zurg: Greetings, Lightyear. Having fun? I'm having a blast.
Buzz: Mock me all you want, Zurg, but evil never has the last laugh.
Zurg: Wrong. That was it, the last laugh, and I had it.
Booster: Buzz, I'm picking up hornets. I repeat, incoming hornets, and boy, oh boy, are they ever coming in fast!
Buzz: XR, how much more can we take?
XR: Well, sir, I'm not going to say things can't get any worse, because whenever someone says that, uh -
Booster: Holy pulsars! We're being sucked into a black hole!
XR: May I finish now? Because I was speaking a-a... It gets worse, is my point, if you let me finish. Now that's the thing...
Buzz: Perfect! Just what we need. I'm taking us full throttle into that black hole.
Mira, XR and Booster: You're WHAT?!
(Starcrusier 42 is heading to the Black hole)
XR: Code red! Event horizon dead ahead! Or in lay terms, stop! Stop!
Booster: If we cross that, we'll be goners!
Buzz: (Unbuckles seatbelt) Not we - me. I'm taking the shuttle.
Mira: You're taking... You - You're not... A slingshot maneuver around the black hole?!
Buzz: Exactly! Zurg's massive dreadnought will never make it out of the gravitational field! I think...
Mira: Assuming you're not atomized, i-isn't there kind of a huge risk of being thrown across time?!
Buzz: If it means the defeat of Zurg, I'll take that risk.
Booster: But Star Command strictly forbids slingshot maneuvers...
Buzz: I know. I wrote that regulation.
---
Mira: (On the screen) Buzz, the shuttle will never make breakaway speed!
Buzz: Mira, never underestimate the power of good.
Mira: But I don't see -
Buzz: Now get the ship to safety, Ranger, that's an order!
---
Buzz: If you want me, Zurg, you're gonna have to come and get me.
Zurg: Luring me to my doom, Lightyear? I don't think so. This dreadnought is much stronger than you imagine. Soon I will have you in my cold, merciless grasp.
Buzz: Well, I guess we'll just have to see about that, won't we?
Zurg: I guess we will.
Buzz: Will not.
Zurg: Will too.
Buzz: Okay then.
Zurg: Fine.
---
Buzz: That's right, Zurg. Follow the leader.
Mira: Buzz, break off! You're getting ripped apart!
(The shuttle loses its right wing)
Buzz: Negative, Princess! I finish the battle with Zurg today!
---
Grub: Hull breaches imminent, Evil Emperor Zurg! We implore you, break off this pursuit!
Zurg: Not when Lightyear is so close!
---
(The hornets gets pulled into the black hole. The Dreadnought loses one of its tower's horns, inside it's breaking apart)
Grub: Hornets gone! Gravity buffers offline! Unable to maintain course!
---
Buzz: Ahh! Ugh.
(activates helmet as the shuttle's window breaks off, knocking off one of the Dreadnought's wings)
Mira: Buzz, Zurg's ship is breaking up!
Booster: But you're going to be tossed into the next century!
XR: Can I be honest? That's our best case scenario.
Mira: Disengage!
Buzz: Can't... break... free! Guess I'll see where this slingshot takes me...
Mira: Buzz! Buzz! Disen- Buzz!
Buzz: (Presses the hypersleep button) Activating... emergency hypersleep program. Buzz Lightyear to Star Cruiser 42... Good work, Rangers. Lightyear out.
---
(Wakes up as Treevo examines him, he gets startled as Buzz bumps into the lamp)
Buzz: Ahh! Buzz Lightyear, universe protection unit. I come in peace.
Treevo: B-Buzz Lightyear! THE Buzz Lightyear?
Buzz: Affirmative. Where's my space suit?
Treevo: I-I-I had it removed! I'm Vostok Treevo, and -
Buzz: Depantsing a Space Ranger's a punishable offense, mister!
Treevo: Mr. Lightyear, please. You shouldn't submit yourself to undue stress after, you know, what you've been through...
Buzz: The black hole... The slingshot...
Treevo: You're understandably confused, but let me assure you all your questions will be answered in time.
Buzz: Answers, Treevo. Now!
---
Treevo: Welcome to the future, Mr. Lightyear!
Buzz: Ranger! The Buzz Lightyear Star Command Museum?
Treevo: Dedicated to the great hero who lured Zurg into the inescapable grasp of a black hole!
Buzz: Ah, my slingshot trick worked!
Treevo: Well, yes. Zurg was never seen again... But, uh, neither were you.
Buzz: Wait a sec - just how much time has passed?
Treevo: Well...
Buzz: Whoa!
VR Voice: Welcome to the virtual information department!
Buzz: Uh... Thanks.
VR Voice: No, thank YOU, Buzz Lightyear! Because of your heroic victory, we're celebrating one thousand Zurg-free years!
Buzz: One thousand years? I've been AWOL for one thousand years?!
VR Voice: Not really. You see, Buzz, Star Command was shut down centuries ago.
Buzz: Then I'm the only one left to fight evil!
VR Voice: Whoa, space cowboy! There is no evil. After you defeated Zurg, good just spread across the universe like crazy!
Buzz: There's got to be some evil.
VR Voice: No, not a bit - you won the battle for good, for good!
Buzz: So Space Rangers are...
VR Voice: Obsolete, thanks to you, Buzz Lightyear! And thanks for visiting the virtual information department, which is brought to you by Bobo's, home of the hamsteak!
(Buzz is now visibly depressed)
Treevo: So you see much has changed in the last thousand years...
Buzz: It's the world I've always fought for - and I have no place in it.
Animatronic Buzz: To infinity and even further!
Children: To infinity and even further!
Buzz: What the...?
Animatronic Buzz: Star Command will never be defeated. Remember, evil is no match for the power of good, and never will be as long as I'm on the job! That's why Commander Nebbish has ordered me to fire up the crystallic fission thrusters and chase old Zurg back to his own quadrant! To infinity and even further!
Children: To infinity and even further!
Buzz: How can you get so much so wrong?! It's Commander NEBULA, crystallic FUSION, and to infinity and BEYOND! Ha, to infinity and even further. Like that makes sense.
Kid: Gosh, mister, take it easy. He's just an educational animatronic.
Buzz: Well... So he is. Uh, I knew that! Good likeness.
Kid: Gee, mister, you're the spitting image of Buzz Lightyear!
Buzz: Well, that's because I AM Buzz Lightyear.
Kid: Yeah, right. Prove it. If you're the real Buzz Lightyear, tell us how you defeated Warp Darkmatter when he took over Zeta Beta IV.
Buzz: Zeta Beta IV? It was Zeta Beta II. What are they teaching kids today? Well, we got a priority one distress call from Chancellor Ning of Zeta Beta II. His home world was rocketing...
---
Buzz: And ZAP! NOS-4-A2 was caught in the feedback loop of his own evil power!
Kid: Wow!
Kid: Gee, you really are Buzz Lightyear. I'm sorry, I thought...
Buzz: Ha, ha, ha, forget about it, Billy. A healthy sense of scepticism keeps you firing on all thrusters.
Treevo: Closing time, children.
Kid: Aw, man!
Kid: Bye, Mr. Lightyear! Bye! Bye, Buzz Lightyear! So long! See you soon, baby!
Kid: Mr. Lightyear, thanks for making the galaxy safe for me and Buttons.
Buzz: Well, Sally, it does my heart good to know that the biggest threat facing Buttons is a nasty hairball.
Kid: Bye, Mr. Lightyear.
Treevo: Well done! You made history come alive for hose wide-eyed children! Oh, but of course you did! I mean, look who I'm talking to - Mr. History himself!
Buzz: Your history is my last week.
Treevo: Yes, um... As a matter of fact, I was thinking... How would you like to work here? As a guide? I mean, a living legend on our staff - wow!
Buzz: Hmm... Well, with no Star Command, I am going to need a new career, and someone has got to get the facts straight. Count me in!
Treevo: Oh, thank you, Mr. Lightyear! Ah, wow - Buzz Lightyear hit me in the arm!
---
Buzz: Commander Booster... President Nova... XR - with a mustache. Well, my friends, you certainly made a difference in your time. Maybe I can do the same here in this strange, far-flung future.
Zurg: Lightyear, you ignorant boob! You actually believe you're in the future! He actually believes he's in the future! What a moron!
Act Two
Animatronic Buzz: To infin-zzz! To infinity and beeeeee-!
Buzz: Well, let's see. This should do it.
Animatronic Buzz: To infinity and more infinity!
Buzz: Ugh. A thousand years and this is the best they can do?
Children: Mr. Lightyear! Mr. Lightyear! Mr. Lightyear!
Buzz: Ah, returned for more tales of Star Command, eh, kids?
Kid: You betcha!
Buzz: Well, where should we begin?
Kid: Buttons wants to know how many Space Rangers were stationed on Star Command?
Kid: How many compound laser cannons did Star Command deploy?
Kid: Is Star Command's hull pure terrylium or a terrylium alloy?
Buzz: Those are pretty technical questions for second graders... and a cat.
Treevo: Well, they're gifted students.
Buzz: Ha, ha, ha, when I was your age, all I thought about were oscilic wave formations and negative gravity fields. Well, to answer your questions kids, the station's PURE terrylium hull was defended by twelve laser cannons spaced evenly around the central hub.
Lightyear is practically handing me the keys to Star Command!
Uh, pardon me, Evil Emperor Zurg. We have you down for 2 PM gloating.
I thought 2 PM was scheming.
We bumped scheming to 3.
Oh, it would be nice if someone let me know that. Ugh, the emperor's always last to know. You ever hear of a memo?!
Well, forgive my tardiness, my captive foes. There was a schedule change. How goes the agonizing torment? [XR, the plucky robotic Ranger! You little tin can. You are suspended between the magnatron rods - not too bad, really, until I increase the magnetic forces!
Ooooutstanding! I feel great! Thanks for the adjustment, Doc - eh, forget about the tin can crack.
Hmph. Booster, the gentle giant - your torture is much more excruciating.
Zurg! Whoa, hey, ahh!
The elastichamber turns your own strength against you! Exquisitely maddening, no?
Actually, it's kind of fun! Woohoohoo! Wooha! Yeehee!
I'm so glad you enjoy it. Finally, Princess Mira! I'm especially fond of your torment. It's nothing but a simple box - with your Tangean mental powers, you could easily ghost through its walls - if only you could concentrate!
All right, it's a little annoying, but it's not really a torment, now is it?
But it is, in that you are helpless to aid your tortured friends!
Wheee, look at me!
Oh, yeah, lower, lower!
These are your best torments?!
We, uh, didn't have much time.
They tested well.
Hmph, you're efforts are wasted, Zurg. We'll never talk.
Oh, but you don't need to. Buzz Lightyear will tell me all the secrets of Star Command.
No way! Buzz would never talk!
Oh, no?
Good question, Jimmy. Star Command's defense shields were on a harmonic frequency of 480 zigahertz. So, a laser tuned to that frequency could penetrate the shields like a hot knife through butter! Ha, ha ha. Not that Zurg ever knew that. The Ranger's primary weapon was activated...
Never talk? I can't shut him up!
---
What is the meaning of this?!
Uh, excuse us, Evil Emperor Zurg, but Lightyear has just given us Star Command's Achilles Heel. It's a refuse hatch located on the underside of the station.
Opening one of those catastrophic chain reaction deals?
Yes, yes, yes.
Charge the weapons! We must attack Star Command at once! And make me one of those noise makers - I feel like celebrating!
---
Now, the Pulsar-400 Enviro-Suit and battle Armour. For our purposes, this surprisingly accurate mock-up will do just fine. Well... They really nailed the details.
To infinity and back again!
Most of the details. Anyway, a Ranger's primary weapon was the wrist laser which was activated here. This is no mock-up - it's my old space suit! One thousand years and it still holds a charge! Magnificent. I hope nobody was hurt... What?! This isn't an officially sanctioned Star Command museum - it's just another one of Zurg's evil traps!
Emperor Zurg would like to thank you for all the information provided us.
---
Gotta... oof! Save... Buzz! Ow!
Oooow, okay, okay, now we're crossing the line from chiropractic adjustment to dislocation! Mira, do you think you could reach the control panel?
Well - well, I might be able to reach the - the ceiling control, but -
I want you to increase it to full power!
Full power?! [XR, are you sure?
No, I'm not sure! How often do I get tortured? I want you to reach the contr... Do it anyway!
Hope this works! Aaaahhhh! Whoa, hot, hot, hot! [Something I couldn't hear] Aaaahh!
---
Buzz!
Good timing!
Act Three
Forget me, find the ship! Warn Star Command!
Ah, okay, okay, okay, don't panic... All right, uh, okay... [XR, [XR, I want you to lay down a surpressing fire, and - and Booster, I-I need you to create some kind of a diversion, while I, um...
I gotta save Buzz! Cannon ball!
All right, do a - I need you to do a cannon ball!
Star Command will never be defeated.
You got that right, pal!
To infinity and so on!
Ooh, a computer port, huh? Don't mind if I do.
Well, it sounds like you children are having a real hootenanny in here. I - Alert, prisoners have escaped! Alert, prisoners have escaped!
Put this in your collection! It's now or never, people! Get to that ship!
---
Stop Buzz Lightyear!
---
On the cusp of my greatest victory, Buzz Lightyear escapes?!
Evil Emperor Zurg, the hornets report that Buzz Lightyear did not escape with the others!
Y-You're not just telling me what I want to hear, are you? I-I know you Grubs aren't above doing that!
No, Evil Emperor Zurg! Should we launch a pursuit of the other Rangers?
Why bother? They're nothing without their leader!
Ah, Lightyear! Thanks to your loose lips, Star Command will soon be nothing more than a membrane.
Star Command will never be defeated.
Oh, no? Watch. Prepare the proton missile! Target the refuse hatch and FIRE!
---
Shields at full! Triangulate lasers and fire!
The missile!
It is evading our lasers!
But - How could it know our targeting system?
It has passed through the shields!
Where's that missile headed?
The refuse hatch!
Great guns! Fellas, we're done for.
---
And so it ends. Any parting words, Lightyear?
To infinity and even further!
Oh, spare me your - WHAT?!
Wel-wel-welcome to the B-Buzz Lightyear Star Command-mand-mand Museum.
Where is the real Buzz Lightyear?!
---
To infinity and beyond!
---
Lightyear has guided the missile back toward us! Impact is imminent!
I-I had a sneaking hunch that that's where this was going. I said, I dunno, but I got a feeling... EVASIVE MEASURES!
---
Goes back toward unfriendly space! Now, now, now!
---
Hot rockets! Woohoohoo!
---
Buzz, I don't mind telling you, I was ready to kiss our refuse hatch goodbye. But you gave Star Command one of its most decisive victories ever. Aces, son.
Thank... you... sir. But, uh, this is no victory. Because of me, Zurg knows our secrets.
Because of you and your team, Buzz, we know his. 'cept, he don't know we know.
Uh... Yes, sir.
Nebula out.
I need a debriefing, and I need it bad.
While we were on Zurg's ship, [XR here downloaded all the specs on Zurg's fleet.
I came, I saw, I interfaced.
So, the next time Zurg attacks...
We will be so ready!
Then set our course for the Delta Quadrant!
Where are we going?
To infinity... and even further! Ah, it just doesn't work.